To help make it through the teen years, parents should treat their teens with respect and love.

The teen years can be a difficult time for teens and parents. But, parents can make this difficult adolescent time easier for our kids. One of the first things to do is try to listen without judging. Sometimes we confront our kids in an accusatory tone before we know all there is to know about an issue. If a teen knows that a parent will at least hear him or her out, they are much more likely to talk or ask advice.

Don't always assume that your way is the "right way". Kids can really amaze us with the way they look at things and many times their solutions make more sense (whether we want to admit it or not!). Let your kids know that you value their opinions and they will grow up with a better attitude toward their ability to solve problems. Give them the independence to make decisions that concern them as much as possible. They will soon need these skills to function on their own.

A great many arguments with teens have to do with the choice of friends. Try to get to know your teens friends, even the ones you don't particularly like. You might find that the kid you once felt was so unacceptable is really not so bad. Also, you might also find that your teen's friend who seems so perfect is just acting for your benefit. Make your kids friends welcome at your home. If your kids always have to leave home to see friends, there is a greater potential for trouble. Let your teens know you're around but don't hover.

When teens must be grounded or punished in some way let them know that you will be fair. You don't want your child to learn about life's injustices from you.

Don't try to "buy" your child with loads of gadgets or possessions. This can give the impression that you would rather buy something than take the time to interact personally. Make some time to be alone with your child just to talk, play a game or prepare a meal. This kind of interaction can lead to a more intimate, open relationship.

Be physical. There are many times when a hug or a kiss can say it all. Even when your teen frowns at these little physical expressions, they are registering. You might have to judge when to do certain things--for instance, pinching your son's cheeks and kissing him in front of his team after a hockey game might not go over too well!!

While I know that there is no set formula for raising teenagers or children in general, I do feel that the most important thing is to treat your teen as a person worthy of love and respect. With lots of love, affection and communication, teens and parents can make it through this difficult time.

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